ACTION APRIL

I am taking a moment to stop and briefly detach myself from this 2016 millennial flurry so that I can properly solidify ideas and refocus my fuzzy lens. I woke up this morning feeling entirely puffed out from last night's dinner — no regrets — and primed a much less defiant breakfast where I sipped on some coffee and read this:

"As Marie Forleo likes to say, if it's not scheduled, it doesn't exist. It's time to take a serious, honest look at where you're spending your time and identify space where your project can fit. This might mean eliminated drinks with friends Thursday nights (oops), staying up late (double ooops), or taking back your lunch break (dreaded above all)."

I started an E-course with a friend this week and that thus far challenged my notion of "ideating." As we all know, it is a more convenient choice to sit back with a confidante to rifle through loads and loads of well-marinated, perfectly tousled ideas. Ideas — They stay in the shelves of storage without an action plan. I am brutally aware of this. 

The Splendor Display has thus been an essential outlet for experimentation. I have certainly discovered  heaps about myself through this blog. Mainly about how much I enjoy content creation, even if it requires hours of photo editing (painstakingly on my iphone then transferred to my computer), writing and arrangement. I hate talking about myself amongst a group of people but I love sharing myself through these creative means. Which makes me laugh because just yesterday I was sitting with some friends when one of them asked me, "what is your insecurity?" Embarrassingly enough that I was red from one cup of stout, my words came out entirely jumbled — sporadic at best, incoherent at worst! Blogging helps me articulate. And though I can be absolutely inconsistent perfectionist without a deadline, this lets me speak.

And so, April, you have been deemed: "Action April." Youtube crosses my mind multiple times a day. Thus, catapulting from the quote above, I have sat down and penciled things in. And regardless of failure, I think it is the right, fear-trampling thing to do. 

WARMTH

So the weather is getting warmer in Seoul and that always makes out a happier version of me. Lately, I've been reflecting on my 5 years in Korea and I realize that so much has changed (internally for the most part). Two things I still hate are: the temperament/myers briggs test and the stomach-churning question, "so what are you doing these days?" Haha — If that says anything about anything, I suppose that I still haven't found a clear baseline for understanding my human disposition and, I never really know "what" I'm doing. Both to which I am somewhat at ease.

Beyond that, picture-taking has dwindled post Los Angeles/Chicago.... post my phone getting stolen... post social media getting over-saturated.... and most of my thoughts have stayed within the pages of my journal. I've been finding it quite difficult to find people to delve into deep conversation with these days. I mean, you hardly get to sit down, look someone straight in the eye and engage over substantial matters, matters outside of work or church that is. A real "how are you doing?" or "what's been on your heart lately?" For a few number of you that have invited me into you journal pages and let me give you a peak into mine, thank you. 

It's all about the process or pieces. That's probably the biggest lesson that has unfolded ever so beautifully in these last five years. To the very end, God persists to drill into my head that it's not about what I do but about who I am, and the latter does not have to be contained in a man-made formula (aka personality tests) although it really would be nice to have it figured out. Above all end all, He will bring it all to completion. And that, my friends, bring me a sigh of relief...Happy Spring!