INSTALIFE

SEPTEMBER 2015

I would often catch myself singing, or rather thinking — "wake me up when September ends." 

And so the story goes, it is certainly one thing to dream and another to receive the manifestation of them. I can dream for days and take the heat of patience without complaint. Remaining in the place of 'desire' where things are hazy and out of reach is quite a familiar, almost comfortable place to be. But then September came around like a one-in-twelve oddball and completely threw things off. 

My days go a little something like this: I wake up, make breakfast, spend necessary time with Jesus, drive an hour through the most terrible noontime traffic, take classes, eat salad in between, drive home, wash up (and at this point mind you, I am fighting the monstrous urge to eat a bowl of rice+kimchee) and then go to sleep. On weekends I'll make it a point to rest and do anything but dance. Arts District and Tarpits Festival have been fun, but straying from dance hasn't come all too easily since my mind is hardly at ease. Indeed I am living a dream.

This morning I woke up to be reminded of a prayer spoken over me before I left. "New thinking, new possibilities." (Jensen Yap!) I am certainly learning the art of letting go, the beauty of being loved, and most importantly fabrication of the system that is so much bigger and higher than me or anything of the world. As of monday there has been a mental shift, and I am expecting big things in October. After all, it is my last month as a 26 year old teetering in the mid twenties, and God knows I plan to exit with a bang. I hope you all have enjoyed this month as much as I have. Now October, come at me.

CITY OF ANGELS

September 5th, I megabused down from SF to LA.

As glorious as instagram and other photos may have made my time here appear to be, I'll be honest in saying that I launched off on a rough patch. North Hollywood is... interesting. It is the mecca of dance, the birthplace of a lot of incredible artistry. And with that, comes hardcore grind, and with that, comes a lot of ingenuity and — in my opinion — lack of trust. Intimacy is a rugged road out here and it certainly goes to show in the daily conversations that tickle my ears.

Fast forward past all the praying (maybe some crying) and the biking around town, getting hit with a high fever and spending a lot of time alone, deep breath, today marks 2 weeks since I started training. It's not hopelessly glamorous, but, I am certainly blessed and very, very, happy. The few people that I know in LA have been an extension of love and grace. And this total dance immersion that I've only dreamed about for so(oooooo) long is, I'm telling you, absolutely surreal. My days are full of mental challenges and physical exhaustion, but even as I sit here in good ol' Torrance showered and ready for bed, I just want tomorrow to come real badly so I could get up and do it all over again. 

The picture above was my first class in the ML studio. Laure Courtellemont's dance hall kicked my butt, but hey, challenges excite me. In the most impeccable timing, I'm here, I'm hungry, and without a doubt growing. There is so much to learn from the history entrenched in the business of hollywood hustle. It's ugly, but more often than not it's charming. Now that the dust has settled, I'll use this space to document, process, and share a little piece of my life out here. Be inspired, keep in touch, and please, please, by all means do send some encouragement along the way.  Below are bits of my time so far.

 This was my resting place for the first two weeks. When I wasn't snuggling up besides @Sukiestyles I would wake up to this beautiful, coveted space. There's nothing more life-giving when morning calm is paired with this kind of aesthetic. 

This was my recovery coffee after K-town cold brew killed my tastebuds and threw my coffee expectations down the drain. This, my friends is iced almond latte with half a pump of lavender. If soy cappuccinos did it for me in New York, almond lattes will be the trademark of my time in LA. Joe's coffee with lavender (yes, lavender latte!) courtesy of Amanda Suk on my first day in Noho.

This was a game changer weekend. Arts District last saturday let my frustrated heart know that LA has its pockets of beauty and ease. Blog post coming sometime soon. 

"CAMPING"

On August 29th, 2015 I had my first half-camping experience. 

The reason I say "half-camping" is because we did not 1. stay the night 2. fight off wild animals and 3. eat real smores. Now the truth about camping is that I've always, always, wanted the wildlife experience (bush-bush, no showers, real deal) but what I've come to know and undoubtedly accept is that I am indeed a city girl and thus was unknowingly satisfied with our 1 day trip. After all, it's the fun and the heart that counts, and my goodness — the mountains, the distant sight of the city, and the tall trees in all of its glory totally left an impression on this heart of mine that had me swooning for days. Maybe next time I'll get the real camping experience, but for now, nature craving fulfilled.

GOLDEN GATE

While I was in the Bay, someone described the Golden Gate Bridge as "Majestic." And I can attest to the fact that it was just that.

I feel a shortage of words as I attempt to untangle this verbal knot. It's so much more than what my 3rd grade textbook said about it, that's for sure. I think it sits over the waters to represent the unfathomable and the grandiose. And in one glance, it quickly puts the menial and the mundane into perspective. It is glorious and serene. And Karl, good old Karl the fog, beautifully embraces its existence to create powerful aesthetic for San Francisco and all who travel far and wide to see it.

And with that, I leave you with a song: 

Your love's not fractured

It's not a troubled mind

It isn't anxious

It's not the restless kind

Your love's not passive

It's never disengaged

It's always present

It hangs on every word we say

Love keeps its promises

It keeps its word

It honors what's sacred

Because it's vows are good

Your love's not selfish

Your love is pure

Photos: Hannah Love Yoon (check out her photos here)

SAN FRANCISCO

Just last week, I was free cruising through the streets of San Francisco with a cold brew on my left and a good friend on my right [photo genius Hannah Love Yoon, website here]. Life was spontaneous in every way and company was so refreshing, fun, and ridiculously satisfying. It was also absurdly chilly at night, so much so that I find this LA heat a very troublesome adjustment. 99 degrees today, Lord help me.

Hannah and I spent a considerable amount of time outside of the actual city venturing out into areas like Oakland and Walnut Creek. During the last leg of our trip however we made it out to the very anticipated cosmopolitan city. Initial thoughts? Eclectic and seemingly yuppie. At first, I couldn't help but make a lot of connections to Chicago in regards to the instinctive vibes downtown. But, I thrived on the contrast between the innovative energy that was gushing through the city streets by day and the hair-raising calm of the vista points by night. When you live in San Francisco for a while, I can see how the sights become overlooked, but I couldn't and wouldn't get past it. My eyes were feasting off the beauty of the pastels that the high inclined roads provided for us during our drives. And, the moment that literally took my breathe away — the golden gate bridge from Battery Spencer blanketed with the stars. 

Here's one of our day in a life travel escapades on Friday, September 4, 2015 

PLACES:

-Painted ladies

-Matching Half Cafe

-NOPA district

-Haight-Ashbury

-El techo de Lolinda

  

ON UNCERTAINTY

I've changed. The fact that I've allowed myself to come to an unfamiliar place without a plan, and I mean absolutely no plan at all, is off-base but surprisingly not uncomfortable. I've almost intentionally disallowed myself to plan ahead this time around, and, it's come to the point where I nearly believe that a) I don't need a plan and b) I am a horrible planner (lie of the devil). Structure, order, and a certainty is always safe but the Bay is teaching me that life isn't always gloriously in-order, and heck, it doesn't have to be. I go to sleep with a general sense of tomorrow, but wake up playing it entirely by ear. What has happened? I can't say I know for sure, but in all honesty it's been an enjoyable ride. 

Society prizes security by means of certainty, but there are moments during my car rides when the vastness of the California ocean tells me that life is much to grandiose to have entirely mapped out. "Responsibility" and "effectiveness" is not being put on the burner here, but I'd like to think that practicing this kind of spontaneity is teaching me a thing or two about trust and enjoyment. And indeed, these days more than ever, I find a simmering sense of wonder, anticipation and fun in the unknown aspects of what lies ahead (both for longterm and for tomorrow). We hold steadfast to our commitments and goals but the road ahead is pregnant with possibility. That, to me is hella scary but also very, very hella exciting. (Bay lingo? Yes). Truth be told, you just neva know, you neva know.

Here are some moments birthed from the unplanned of my trip:

  Having the best cold brew in a beautiful space

 A stroll down downtown Oakland

 Strolling through the raw areas of West Oakland

  Indian Rock for breathtaking sunset moments + hilarious happenings

  Being carless so riding the good ol' Bart

 Fusion tacos at "Belly" and realizing that the owners are related to Mr. Cali Kitchen in Korea (But really, what are the odds?)

 Scoping out for white walls with the detail-oriented + like-minded

Blue Bottle Coffee (nuff' said)