MOMENTS IN CHICAGO

photojournal winter 2015

Home was really sweet this time around in particular. It was busy with family and friends,  guests from out of town, spiffy dinner parties (as shown above), and yes, as the tradition still holds strong, morning runs to The Doughnut Vault. All the mundane aside, relationships were unraveling quite beautifully, and I suppose that's what meant the most. 

Chicago is always characterized by a sense of 'delving deeper.' This winter fell nothing short as I had the luxuries of spending time with people I love in a city that is unceasingly amazing. For those who can't quite grasp what I mean by 'amazing,' let me just say that Chicago comes in layers. It initially presents itself as very refined and simple with big streets and big-hearted people. But stay a season longer (and or live through a brutal winter if you dare) and you'll find a much more intricate tapestry of subcultures pocketed within each neighborhood — Logan Square being my current favorite. I'd say it is hardly accessible for a first timer, but every true Chicagoan knows that there's so much more than meets the eye. It is resilient, annoyingly close-minded in a sense, but absolutely rich in the most mysterious, charming way. 

I think to enter a city with fresh eyes is what makes any place enchanting and exquisitely wonderful. Those are the eyes I should choose to hold onto tightly as I make my transitions back in Seoul. It has been exactly one week since coming back and already it has been quite the ride. Decisions made, risks being taken, and plans in the making. Here's to living through the transitions into the wild unknown and with that hopefully will be accompanied by more winter adventures.

PLANTS + TOAST

Same Day Cafe, Logan Square Chicago

I am absurdly jet lagged right now, so at 6:09 am I'm taking it upon me to share some photos and thoughts. To keep it brief, "Same Day Cafe" (opened 6 months ago in Logan) has the best avocado toast in Chicago and the best plant collection I've seen in a while. Enjoying the company with Sammy Boy and Petey Green talking about security and art and life made it that much better too.

My other avocado favorites include "Two Hands Cafe" in NYC and "Bartavelle Coffee and Wine Bar" in Emeryville, California. I haven't had anything outstanding in LA, but I guess I haven't tried one too many. Anyways, Same Day Cafe has a simple but delicious menu along with some classy old-fashioned tunes spinning from a record player in the far back. Absolutely heartwarming. It also has inspired me to become a plant owner for my little home in Korea. Who's excited to go plant shopping? Me. 

BACK TO BLACK

Home is Korea, home was LA, and now for a week and a half home will be Chicago. Chicago's chills are already intolerable, but spending time with people closest to my heart in a city that I love is just perfect for now. With new seasons come new things and I suppose I jumped the gun with a hairstyle change. It is the slightest bit uncomfortable (I haven't had black hair for a very long time now), but I welcome change...always. For my hair, I used Color Brilliance Ion in "darkest brown" with 20% developer, both from Sally's Beauty Supply. I personally think any hair color is achievable from home if you purchase professional hair color (not sure how I feel about box dyes) and have a skilled friend. And for $12 you can revamp your look + throw a hair dye party over some good laughs and R&B tunes with a friend! Remember, for darker hair use lower developer and for lighter colors go brighter. Dark hair makes me feel more equipped for the winter season. Toasty and bold. And with that, off I go to the city for some Chicago exploration with  Californians who make me feel less bad about being a featherweight of the cold. Happy Friday!

DAY 4

A daily journal of my 5 days remaining in Los Angeles.

The highlight of my day was driving to Los Feliz (also known as LA hipsterville) for a long overdue catchup session with my friend Sorah Yang who has been busy traveling the world in pursuit of her dreams. [Can I brag? Let me brag. Check out her youtube channel here]. Sorah and I met at a dance studio in Korea in 2011 when she was an exchange student at KU and I was fresh out of college venturing into adulthood. To think that she has since stepped out of all that is conventional and certain to make life work for her is truly inspiring. It empowers my understanding that if I work hard and give it my all, whatever I will will happen. No plan B. 

Over lunch and board games we caught up and talked about life. Honestly, life seemed so much easier four years ago when we had dance parties in our matching pajamas over some random sleepovers in hongdae. But I'm glad I have someone to share headspace with (it's very rare these days), as well as someone I can look up to and laugh with (also rare). Sorah, here's to growth and the giving of ourselves!

Currently: Listening to Miguel - Leaves

DAY 5

A daily journal of my 5 days remaining in Los Angeles.

Today, I celebrate the fact that fall has finally arrived in Southern California with my denim jacket, emotion arousing James Morrison and of course, a selfie. It is absolutely bittersweet to think that my time here in LA is coming to an end but there's no time for sappy feelings at this point. I'm trying to enjoy it full throttle — and that includes daily palm tree sightings, which I think people take for granted the most. 

Considering that I have never really owned my own car (that ridiculous volvo in college does not count), I am very proud to say that I am successfully cruising through 60+ miles of driving every day. What I am not proud of is this newfound side of me which I have more so recently discovered: unruly road rage. I'm sorry. Justifiably so, the traffic here is agonizing at 1pm in the afternoon. 

This is the class schedule for this week. It is still wonderful and mind blowing to me that I have access to learn from all of these talented teachers/choreographers. If it were Korea, it would be $30-$50 dollars a class! Today I missed Isaac at 2pm (boo!) but had a ball with the rest, especially Anthony Lee. (Oh, and Kevin Maher is worth all the hype. He's amazing).

Currently: Listening to James Morrison- The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore 

RESOLVE

Oct 18 - 24th 2015

I've had quite an eventful week. I hope I'm not being too dramatic when I say that I've hit some euphoric highs (in dance class) and then dipped into some rocky lows (in introspection). Though the contrast has been stark, my inner man has been, to say the least, gliding in peace and satisfaction. In addition, the simple "I love you" from my sister on friday night + the conversations with people who matter have made even the difficult moments a delight in disguise. The only thing missing in my life: live music. Anyone know of some good spots?

In all that, I've made some resolves. I'll share one. The book "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud, reiterates over and over again that good boundaries help us distinguish our property parameters so that we can take ownership of the things we are responsible for. I am realizing the blurriness of where my responsibility for me begins and where my responsibility for others ends. It has caused me to overextend my ample empathy on people, words, and relationships that do not deserve my attention. Some of us have the disposition to take each word hurled at us far too weightily... um, yes that would be me. And so, as badass as it may appear to be, I've taken it upon myself to do some heavy haul abandoning. Lets cut out the BS in our lives, yeah? It is indeed liberating. 

UNEARTHING

LA, you have a charm to you. Beneath the shiny surface that seems awfully impenetrable and cheap, there is this rich profundity that I am slowly coming to unearth. Today more than ever, I realize the shortness of time that lies for me ahead and it makes me incredibly sad. Can the weeks be extended? That is a question from the heart because oh man, I have finally adjusted to this place.

 

Today I frolicked around the LACMA and The Farmer's market amidst beautiful works of art and a bizarre amount of food. Coming home with stomach wholly satiated in a plate of Brazilian BBQ was certainly a different kind of evening. Yesterday was no different in all joyous occasion, but with health-conscious choices of course. 

Friday's "Ostrich Farm" in Echo Park was perfectly savory and on par with my tastes. The uptown+minimalistic features of the neat space made it even better as always. And more importantly, sitting across the prized encourager and now jet-setter (slash partial hipster, ha!) Brady Miller really reeled in some peace + familiarity. Words on authenticity, traveling, long-term visions and the sharing of God-ordained processes is always gratifying, but it is exceptionally meaningful when it is with Brady. Being moved to tears in front of another person while talking about the things on my heart? Well, thats been a while. What an amazing weekend so far. With absolutely no time to waste, I am pairing excellence with enjoyment, enjoyment with excellence, and taking it step by step.

THE LINE HOTEL LA + AUTHENTICITY

Today was sunny as ever and I took an uncommon morning quick stop in K-town at The Line Hotel. "Commissary" is only as good as it gets in pictures, but when you actually enter the plant-ornamented space, something about the sun peering in through the glass and reflecting off the garden greens gives off this magical elation for all who breathe. Lunch is an arm and leg, but the exquisite visuals — I mean absolutely stunning and serene — gives you a bang for your buck, I'll say. Sigh, loved it. 

The meat of this post will be my quick conversation with Katherine [check out her work here] about what lately has been the most important thing for me as a creative. I've been having a lot of conversations about art, social media and modern day communication. While the accessibility and resources are rampant, it seems to me that people in this day and age are deprived of art with substance. Deprived, not in the sense of absence, but rather in that authentic content is somewhere buried in an assortment of easy-bakes and replication. Where's the authenticity?

As I am growing to discover myself as an artist, I am quickly realizing how important it is to be honest and original. With that, I've been very intentional about whose classes I walk in to. I can take class from the youtube stars and wiggle my way in to my own self-promoting measures (they are amazing and I learn a lot from them!) But I've decided to be more discerning about where I can really benefit from. And by 'benefit,' dear friends what I really mean is, who's class I'll walk away challenged, educated, and maybe even a little confused. You always need to find your intention with class, or so I've learned from Beverly Bautista, therefore I make it a point to choose personalized and focused development over what's easy, comfortable, and popular. Lower body grooves, dance hall (ugh, love it!) and even jazz funk is where I've been spending a good chunk of my time in the studios.  I'll even take contemporary, though I legit laugh at myself for looking like a flailing chicken in water. Thank God class is confidential.

For me, there isn't anything more empty as soulless art though I am often guilty of being more technical than free. Even so, I am learning and trying, and the conversations with fellow creatives is good fuel for it. After all, it's the meaningful depth of story-telling that give us the bone-chilling sensations we all long for, that speaks into the fabric of our society, and busts norms, isn't it? I want that, so bad. Tonight someone said this: "Don't just chase after steps. Sometimes you gotta go back to the basics and listen, listen to the music to create something original."

LA WEEKENDS

September 26, 2015 | Tarpits Festival accompanied by Sukiestyles + Megan Ba, Ba, Batoon. 

The extent of my general knowledge of Los Angeles is fairly limited, given that my M-F is so routine. Saturdays usually give me space for proper exploration though I'll be honest, I find myself naturally gravitating towards North Hollywood for another set of classes. (This week was so good btw!) Last weekend did some justice to the wanderlust as we walked around the LACMA vicinity. After all, I am a junkie for all things sky, city, and beautiful eye-pleasing aesthetics. Add a coffee in there and I'll be eternally happy. Now off to Chicago for another (hopefully impeccable) weekend.

INSTALIFE

SEPTEMBER 2015

I would often catch myself singing, or rather thinking — "wake me up when September ends." 

And so the story goes, it is certainly one thing to dream and another to receive the manifestation of them. I can dream for days and take the heat of patience without complaint. Remaining in the place of 'desire' where things are hazy and out of reach is quite a familiar, almost comfortable place to be. But then September came around like a one-in-twelve oddball and completely threw things off. 

My days go a little something like this: I wake up, make breakfast, spend necessary time with Jesus, drive an hour through the most terrible noontime traffic, take classes, eat salad in between, drive home, wash up (and at this point mind you, I am fighting the monstrous urge to eat a bowl of rice+kimchee) and then go to sleep. On weekends I'll make it a point to rest and do anything but dance. Arts District and Tarpits Festival have been fun, but straying from dance hasn't come all too easily since my mind is hardly at ease. Indeed I am living a dream.

This morning I woke up to be reminded of a prayer spoken over me before I left. "New thinking, new possibilities." (Jensen Yap!) I am certainly learning the art of letting go, the beauty of being loved, and most importantly fabrication of the system that is so much bigger and higher than me or anything of the world. As of monday there has been a mental shift, and I am expecting big things in October. After all, it is my last month as a 26 year old teetering in the mid twenties, and God knows I plan to exit with a bang. I hope you all have enjoyed this month as much as I have. Now October, come at me.

CITY OF ANGELS

September 5th, I megabused down from SF to LA.

As glorious as instagram and other photos may have made my time here appear to be, I'll be honest in saying that I launched off on a rough patch. North Hollywood is... interesting. It is the mecca of dance, the birthplace of a lot of incredible artistry. And with that, comes hardcore grind, and with that, comes a lot of ingenuity and — in my opinion — lack of trust. Intimacy is a rugged road out here and it certainly goes to show in the daily conversations that tickle my ears.

Fast forward past all the praying (maybe some crying) and the biking around town, getting hit with a high fever and spending a lot of time alone, deep breath, today marks 2 weeks since I started training. It's not hopelessly glamorous, but, I am certainly blessed and very, very, happy. The few people that I know in LA have been an extension of love and grace. And this total dance immersion that I've only dreamed about for so(oooooo) long is, I'm telling you, absolutely surreal. My days are full of mental challenges and physical exhaustion, but even as I sit here in good ol' Torrance showered and ready for bed, I just want tomorrow to come real badly so I could get up and do it all over again. 

The picture above was my first class in the ML studio. Laure Courtellemont's dance hall kicked my butt, but hey, challenges excite me. In the most impeccable timing, I'm here, I'm hungry, and without a doubt growing. There is so much to learn from the history entrenched in the business of hollywood hustle. It's ugly, but more often than not it's charming. Now that the dust has settled, I'll use this space to document, process, and share a little piece of my life out here. Be inspired, keep in touch, and please, please, by all means do send some encouragement along the way.  Below are bits of my time so far.

 This was my resting place for the first two weeks. When I wasn't snuggling up besides @Sukiestyles I would wake up to this beautiful, coveted space. There's nothing more life-giving when morning calm is paired with this kind of aesthetic. 

This was my recovery coffee after K-town cold brew killed my tastebuds and threw my coffee expectations down the drain. This, my friends is iced almond latte with half a pump of lavender. If soy cappuccinos did it for me in New York, almond lattes will be the trademark of my time in LA. Joe's coffee with lavender (yes, lavender latte!) courtesy of Amanda Suk on my first day in Noho.

This was a game changer weekend. Arts District last saturday let my frustrated heart know that LA has its pockets of beauty and ease. Blog post coming sometime soon. 

"CAMPING"

On August 29th, 2015 I had my first half-camping experience. 

The reason I say "half-camping" is because we did not 1. stay the night 2. fight off wild animals and 3. eat real smores. Now the truth about camping is that I've always, always, wanted the wildlife experience (bush-bush, no showers, real deal) but what I've come to know and undoubtedly accept is that I am indeed a city girl and thus was unknowingly satisfied with our 1 day trip. After all, it's the fun and the heart that counts, and my goodness — the mountains, the distant sight of the city, and the tall trees in all of its glory totally left an impression on this heart of mine that had me swooning for days. Maybe next time I'll get the real camping experience, but for now, nature craving fulfilled.